Rimarim

You don’t know where you are but you are running. You don’t know what is happening yet you are running. You don’t know what creatures or people or things are after you and still you are running. You hunt your tiny breaths. You save your feeble strengths. You are tired. You are freaked. You are all fucked up. You don’t know what’s going to happen to you. You just like to escape through this chaos and get a life. You want to cry but you realize your tears have nothing to do to save you—to run away.

You turn to know who those people run after you but you realize you still don’t know if those are actually people. You just run and run and run. The roads are like infinite. The skies are dark. And you are alone. You have become more frightened by the fact that no one is with you to experience a very perfect torture in your life because you think everybody dumped you because you are selfish and you did many bullshits in the past. You start to cry and run and run. You are not a weeping person and here you are, bursting in tears like a child who has been bullied in grade school.

You want to run quicker but your strength becomes weaker. Too bad your strength does not help you anymore. You feel you are going to die in seconds. You wish that if you ever live, the first thing you would want to do is to sit on your couch wearing your pajamas; drinking your hot chocolate while reading a book in a cold, rainy night. You don’t want a mansion, a fabulous car or billions of money. You just need a life. That’s all. And something’s favoring you.

A light? Yeah! A light! Holy goodness I’m gonna live! Thank you!

You run the fastest to reach the light. You are laughing like this is the happiest day of your entire life, you will be saved. The Heavens save you!

You answered me! Yes! I don’t need money, or a big and fancy house! All I want is to liveeeeeeeeee!

You have reached the end of the light. The last time you are crying is because you thought you are going to die. But then...

A cliff? I thought it was something…

You walk near the cliff. You look below and you see nothing but fog and a clear sign of death. You laugh. You think you will live?

There are always choices. It’s either I just let myself attacked by those creatures or jump under this cliff.

What will you do?

You turn around to see who are following you. Now is your chance to take a glimpse after all those running. You step back. Your eyes freeze. You body is stunned. You are in terror.

Zombies? So they exist?! They actually exist? So this is a Zombie Apocalypse? Amazing! I thought they were just in movies or something! Whoah! Is this the time to be amazed? I’m gonna die!

You exchange looks between the Zombies and the cliff. You are making a final decision how you will face your death.

I’m gonna let those Zombies tear my awesome flesh! Right! I want to experience that excruciating pain. What will be the taste of my flesh and brain? I think it’s incredible because I’m so hot! I am so deliciously hot.

You close your eyes. You feel the warmth of air. You raise your hands. Your hair touches the darkness. Here they come…

The Zombies are on uproar as if they have not tasted like you for a long time. You feel scared. You change your plans.

You jump the cliff.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

You open your eyes. The Zombies are gone. There are no Zombies at all. The darkness tricked you. You realize you have jumped off the cliff. The air rushes excitingly on your body. You feel nothing but breeze. Your heart pounds heavily. You can’t breathe properly.

What an amazing death.

***

The wind drifts coolly. The water flows steadily. The trees sway as if they are dancing. The birds chirp. The skies are at peace.

You open your eyes. You are safe. You are alive. You stand up and breathe heavily. You breathe just to know if you are really alive. And you are.

You look above. You saw the cliff that you have jumped off. It’s not that too high but the last time you saw it was like seeing the cliff of death. You have bruises and light scars but you just ignore them. You don’t feel any pain. You feel nothing.

The darkness tricked me. So, you wanna kill me? Huh? Kill me! Kill me if you can!

You start to walk. You don’t know the place yet and you don’t know where to go. You are hoping you might meet someone here and find a way back home. You don’t seem hungry or thirsty. You don’t want to eat or drink, you just want to go back home. The last time you wish is that you can live and your wish was granted. Now, you want to go home.

You realize it is very hard to be alone. You miss your family. You miss your friends. You miss your cats. You miss everything and everyone. You are aching to experience all the things you have done with them. Again. But now you’re stranded. You can’t bring the past back anymore. How you wish you could bring back and undo all the mistakes you have done and say sorry to your parents and friends. But how? You are stuck here. Alone. Miserable. Dejected. How pity you are.

You heard something. You turn around but there is no one. You hear heavy and approaching barge—like footsteps that belong not only from a few people but hundreds of them. You turn around but you saw nothing. The noise gives you creeps. You are stunned. You don’t know where to hide. They found you.

Zombies again? They are not real! They disappeared the last time I jumped the cliff!

You run away from them. There are hundreds of Zombies after you. You know they are not real. They do not exist. But you are still afraid if they catch you. You want to hide but the path is filled with flesh-longing Zombies. There are zombies all around. You look at them. They are full of blood. They have ripped clothes and ugly faces and gross smell.

You run and you reach another cliff. The skies turn dark. You see nothing but them. You realize the same thing happened again. The Zombies. The cliff. Dark skies. Everything.

What’s with this place? Why are you doing this to me?!

You decide to wait the Zombies to come near you. You know they aren’t real. They are supposed to be gone.

They stand up in front of you. They are looking directly at you—sharp, deadly, insanely. The looks you have never imagined before.

You can’t attack me! You’re not real, you can’t be real!

All of the Zombies want to taste every bit of you but only few of them are able to run to you and attack you. They bite you on your face and on your arms. You are filled with blood now. You look at your arms. You can see your bones and your blood. You feel pain. You scream. You fall under the cliff. Your vision becomes blurry.

***

The wind drifts coolly. The water flows steadily. The trees sway as if they are dancing. The birds chirp. The skies are at peace.

You open your eyes. You are safe. You are alive. You stand up and breathe heavily. You breathe just to know if you are really alive. And you are.

You realize you are in the same place the last time you fell from the cliff. You look above. There are  no Zombies. They are not real. You are supposed to act that they are not real. You remember you were attacked. You touch your face. You look at your arms. There were no scars or bruises or blood. You are in the same shape the first time you are here.

It’s very weird. Zombies again? And the cliff. Everything happened again! But why? If I walk, Zombies will attack me again and I’ll reach another cliff and I’ll fall. Why this is happening to me?

You can’t ask yourself. You can’t ask anyone because there’s no one. You can think of many questions but there will be no answers forever. You cry. You are crying really hard. You want to go home so bad.

After you have wasted your tears to nothing, you decide to go for a walk. Who knows what another trip can bring you. Beside, there is something that urges you to walk and find the answers why this is happening. The surroundings are at peace now and you are serene.

You have reached an end point. There is something covered up there. You are curious of what is hidden on the end of the trail. You walk to to take a look at it. There is something buried there. You are frightened. You don’t know if you’re going to dig this or not but you are way too curious to know what’s under.

You dig the thing up with your bare hands. You dig until you feel something. You dig as fast as you can and you finally see what it is.

A corpse.

You remove the soil that hides the figure of the corpse. You remove all the soil that covered the face of the human.

You are shocked. You know this person. You really do. Now you know why you are here. Now you know why you are experiencing all of this.

You heard heavy footsteps. You know those are Zombies—zombies created by your illusion. They hunt you. They will crush you. They come for you.

You look at the corpse and you remember what happened to you before you were here. 

You were selfish.

You were greedy.

Egoistic.

Self-centered.
Heartless shitty head.

The Zombies. The Cliff. The corpse.

The Zombies. The Cliff. The corpse.

The Zombies. The Cliff. The corpse.

The Zombies. The Cliff. The corpse.

These things come playing to your mind.

The zombies. The people you loved.  Death.  The corpse. You. The people you loved.  Zombies. Death.  The cliff. You. The corpse. The people you loved.  Death.  You.

You can’t cheat DEATH!